Wednesday, August 31, 2005

it's going to be a new blog...

So i think the whole focus of this blog is about to change. It may detour some of you from may not...maybe it will bring thom back...who knows. This blog is going to be about a journey...a long hard journey that my soul is struggling hard to get through. It is sort of for my own reference...who knows maybe one day it will be a book...that would be pretty sweet. Of course...all of the random crap will still be there...but it essentially will be different.

What is this journey so you ask? Well it is a journey of finding my faith...finding my home...and in the words of U2...I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

Some background:

It seems that my home is close but I don't want to go in. I am not sure why, but I just can't bring myself to go take it as my home. I don't know what is. I think pride has a lot to do with it. Actually probably pride has everything to do with it. See...I was brought up Baptist (as many of you know) and I was basically taught the Baptists are the only ones right...and that especially that Catholics were wrong. I sort of clung to that. I remember my best friend in second grade was Catholic. We would get in fights all the time about differences in beliefs. It was funny. I even dated a Catholic in high school. I think I basically told him he was going to hell because he hadn't "asked Jesus into his heart." When I broke up with him...because "I wanted to date a Christian," he told me he would read his Bible more. That is a comment that always sticks in my mind. He then spread it around to the Chuck E. Cheese folks that I was anti-Catholic. There were a lot of Catholics there, so they would make comments from time to time.

Now...I must honestly say that i had never met a Catholic that impressed me much...they all seemed to be Catholic by name...and that was about it. They had no clue what they believed...and heaven forbid! they didn't even own a Bible! In college...I left the Baptist church. I just couldn't put up with the holy attitude my church was giving off any longer. I got in trouble for going line dancing once...the pastor would always get onto me for wearing pants...and the final straw was when I got in trouble for singing a song that had too much drums. What song was it you ask? Well click here to find out. It gets a little crazy in the end...oh yeah. So I left...I went to the plain ole Christian church. I found out about my freedom in Christ and totally had a change in perspective. Matt can agree with that.

Now here is where the real story begins:

I am probably going to have to post a lot to get the story up to date. I will just start with the very beginning for now.

A couple years ago, I started listening to Catholic radio. I think that some of you may remember this. At first it was mainly a big fascination. I sort of liked hearing of all the little rules and then laughing. Then, as I listened more, I noticed that Catholics weren't as bad as I once thought. It became my favorite radio station. (I know I know...I am a nerd) Brian T. would just shake his head at me. Well my friends...that is where the journey begins...I will give you more later.

On a side note:

I saw a big pink suburban today. It was sort of weird.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Monday, August 22, 2005

sometimes i just feel the need to do these....

First best friend: Melissa Mink is the first one I remember...we met on the tornado slide...

First car: 94 geo tracker

First Love: Brian T

First kiss: real kiss? when i was 13 with some kid named Jason.

First screen name: ocmue814

First funeral: first one i remember is my grandpa...he died of lung cancer..

First tape/CD: I had tons of Patch the Pirate tapes growing up...but I think I had to share those with my sister. The first tape that sticks out in my mind was an amy grant tape that my dad got for christmas when i was in 8th grade and he gave it to me...but my mom thought that it was satanic music or i would have to sneak to listen to it...ha

First pets: dog named snowball was my first dog.

First piercings/tattoos: my ears in second grade...first tattoo...when i was 19

First big trip: ft. meyers florida...that is where my grandma lived.

First time skiing: I lived in it is sad that I have never been.

First concert: this is funny...Rebecca St. James when I was in high school

First alcoholic drink: On my 21st b-day at the Cheesecake factory...i had a margarita..I know...I know...I am crazy.

First ticket violation: I don't even remember. ha.

First job: I had a paper route when I was going into 6th grade.

LASTS ---------

Last Kiss: Friday, August 12 before C. Brian left for Germany. I miss him. :( He comes back tonight!

Last car ride: just a few minutes ago...back from lunch

Last time you cried: been awhile, it was a little over 2 weeks ago...stupid fights...

Last movie watched: fraility...very should watch it.

Last food you ate: chicken creole from yats.

Last item bought: depressing.

Last annoyance: it was a sympathy annoyance...for a friend that has to put up with a very annoying person.

Last time wanting to die: uh...never...that's a weird question.

Last alcoholic drink: a tequilla pepper's on saturday.

Last concert: depends on what a concert is...i saw neumatic at peppers on great scott shows count as concerts? other than that...i saw sarah bauer...or ellery...ok...last big name? probably hootie and the blowfish.

Last phone call: hold on..let me looks like it was Jason...last night.

Last time at the mall: saturday...I had to work.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Friday, August 19, 2005

look at me...

Look at me doing my math mentor thing. I look so helpful don't I? ha... It's was fun times...

*Gas prices are depressing me...

Thursday, August 18, 2005


Sorry that it has been a while since my last post. Things have been a bit crazy lately. The IUPUI Bridge Program is done with, so that is something off of my plate. Last weekend, Matt Rasure came up to visit me. I love that kid. We had good times.

*School starts in a week and I am super excited.

*I miss Brian soo much :(. He is in Germany, and I haven't gotten to talk to him since last Friday. He gets back on Monday and I can't wait!!!!!

*I have so much to say and no time to say it. Plus, my number of returning visitors are way down. Are you guys still here??? I miss you guys too :(.

*Is it possible to be a liberal conservative? If so, I think Matt has it down. He is so liberal but at the same time, so conservative. I took him to a dance club for a few minutes, and that was hilarious. He was telling me about a girl dancing up against him and about another girl that told him that he could smack her butt for a dollar. I laughed so hard. Good times...Good times...

*I met some random people on friday. They were really nice. They made breakfast for me and Matt on Sunday. Weird....

*once again...I have no time to really think about writing anything extra cool. Hopefully soon my brain will find something good to talk about!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Thursday, August 11, 2005

guys are weird...

*Guys are weird...

*I have been teaching math all week to incoming IUPUI freshman. That has been quite fun. I really like it. I think I may go the route of teaching college.

*Brian is playing with Avalon tonight...that's pretty cool

*tomorrow, he leaves for Germany to go play at World Youth Day...that's pretty cool too.

*I'm staying in Indiana...I guess that's cool

*guys are still weird...wouldn't you agree?

*I may be moving yet again soon...

*my b-day is on wish me a happy one. I will be 23. I am glad for least I won't be associated with the 21 year old crowd

*I was going to write something a bit more insightful...but I have to leave now...will write more later.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

warning: deep thoughts may follow...

Heaven and Hell...

Tony gave me some CD's to listen to the other day. They were of some guy named Patrick Madrid giving a talk. At one point he was talking about hell. I have a question. What is hell? Is it a burning abyss? Is it a state of mind? Who goes there? For that matter...who goes to heaven? I don't think saying "the sinner's prayer" is what does it for you. I also don't think being baptized is what does it for you. I think that your life needs to change to portray Christ. Patrick Madrid mentioned something about that passage in Matthew 25 where it says this:

But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne.

32"All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats;

33and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.

34"Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

35'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in;

36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink?

38'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You?

39'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'

40"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you,to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'

41"Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels;

42for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink;

43I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.'

44"Then they themselves also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?'

45"Then He will answer them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.'

46"These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

but then, in Ephesians 3: 8-9, it says by grace are you saved, not of works lest any man should boast.

What does that mean? Do you think with grace will come good works? Or where is it where it says faith without works is dead? So if you have good faith, then good works will come? So really, I remember the priest asking me all kinds of questions about where you get Jesus, well where is it?

Ok...I have strayed a little from the heaven and hell topic...I am good at that. I used to think I had everything figured out. I know I don't at all. What are your thoughts on heaven and hell? I have to go now...I will write more about this later...

how do you like the new look??